whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
