so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
