She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
