so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize
