I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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