Little spoons don't ask big questions
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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