It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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