My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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