You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
