is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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