So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
