ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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