He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
