Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
