found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
