I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Boobs are out for the taking
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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