better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
NoShamevember. You game?
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize