I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
