it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
