TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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