I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
