I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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