There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
