And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
