I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
