I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize