i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
he shaved USA in his pubs
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
