Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
