You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Come back. Shots need mouths.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Randomize
