mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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