Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
