scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Alive.
So much puke
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
