See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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