Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
