He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
i wish my penis had a tongue
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
