my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
