i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
