Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
