let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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