you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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