If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
