thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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