Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Randomize
