I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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