I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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