Can Purell be used as lube?
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
