I'm lost and stupid without you.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Alive.
So much puke
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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