some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Damn victory sex feels great
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
