That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
