You made me cry and you don't even care
I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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