I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
