I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
