So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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