dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
