This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
