belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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