Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
