Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
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