i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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