Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize