So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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