C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
