I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
