making cat noises will not fix the situation.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
