Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
