8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
