is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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