I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
