sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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