Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize