I wish life had little blips of pornography
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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