garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
cat food counts as protein by the way
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
