My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
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