i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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